So here's the deal-i-o...
When women are single they dress up when they go out with men...
And once they are married... they dress up when they go out with women...
Either way Macy's makes a lot of money :P
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
SDL # 3 Amway Ambush
Make a trip to "Great America Mall" and wear a t-shirt that has your company's name on it.... Walk into one of the bigger stores, like say Macy's or better-yet Kohl's (coz its cheaper).
Smile at the first three desis you see (they will be with kid and/or wife), and this is the conversation that will ensue:-
"Hey, do you work at Cisco ?!..."
"Um.. no I'm with Oracle (pointing to t-shirt).."
"Oh okay.. were you there at the Oracle Arena for the Mika show ?!"
"Not this year, but I had gone there last year.."
"Yea, that's what. I KNEW I had seen you somewhere... must be there. You look so damn familiar..."
*smile*
"Where do you stay in the bay area ?!"
"Santa Clara"
"Oh I used to live in Santa Clara, but now I've moved to Fremont..
(All this while his wife is just standing there, smiling, not saying a word)
Do you come often here to Great Mall ?"
"Well.. kind of"
"Yes yes, this is a good place for shopping.. so how long have you been in the bay area......"
What ensues is a bunch of generic questions.. essentially leading up to the point where you don't mind giving this person your phone number. Once phone numbers have been exchanged and hands have been shook... Phase I of AMWAY AMBUSH has finished.
The second phase involves multiple calls you will receive from your new best friend, invitations for coffee etc.
Well after phase 3 (coffee, chaat etc with families and general investment advice) you will actually learn the secret of what AMWAY is all about.
The true Desi will come full circle into phase 4, where he will perform his first practice run (under supervision of course) at Kohl's at the Great Mall again..
Smile at the first three desis you see (they will be with kid and/or wife), and this is the conversation that will ensue:-
"Hey, do you work at Cisco ?!..."
"Um.. no I'm with Oracle (pointing to t-shirt).."
"Oh okay.. were you there at the Oracle Arena for the Mika show ?!"
"Not this year, but I had gone there last year.."
"Yea, that's what. I KNEW I had seen you somewhere... must be there. You look so damn familiar..."
*smile*
"Where do you stay in the bay area ?!"
"Santa Clara"
"Oh I used to live in Santa Clara, but now I've moved to Fremont..
(All this while his wife is just standing there, smiling, not saying a word)
Do you come often here to Great Mall ?"
"Well.. kind of"
"Yes yes, this is a good place for shopping.. so how long have you been in the bay area......"
What ensues is a bunch of generic questions.. essentially leading up to the point where you don't mind giving this person your phone number. Once phone numbers have been exchanged and hands have been shook... Phase I of AMWAY AMBUSH has finished.
The second phase involves multiple calls you will receive from your new best friend, invitations for coffee etc.
Well after phase 3 (coffee, chaat etc with families and general investment advice) you will actually learn the secret of what AMWAY is all about.
The true Desi will come full circle into phase 4, where he will perform his first practice run (under supervision of course) at Kohl's at the Great Mall again..
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Alright alright.. I'm sorry...
so unFUCK YOU !!!
I loved this quote so much.. couldn't find any other place to use it (anonymously enough !!)
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
SDL # 2 Signing Petitons
The Desi loves to sign petitions... These petitions are usually with regard to serious topics such as voting for Aishwarya Rai as the 8th wonder, or Taj mahal as the most beautiful thing produced by India till date (or vice versa). There are also petitions regarding general topics such as asking for the resignation of the President of India contending that her brothers have corruptions charges, or to have US declare a National Holiday for Diwali.
Signing these petitions and subsequently forwarding it to atleast forty five other desis on his email list is very important for the desi, as it assuages his guilt about having received a free education in their own country, and not having contributed to its economy at all.
By signing petitions the desi is convinced that he took some productive steps towards betterment of his country. Now he can relax and guiltless-ly use his Indian education to create wealth for the United States.
When confronted with such a desi, it will be advantageous to discuss the last petition that he sent regarding banning Sania Mirza from representing India in tennis after her foot was photographed in the "orthographic" vicinity of the Indian flag. Assure him that you immediately signed the petition and forwarded it to all your friends in Cisco. After this you can continue to talk about how there are too many Indians in Fremont, and that you would like to move to Santa Clara.
Signing these petitions and subsequently forwarding it to atleast forty five other desis on his email list is very important for the desi, as it assuages his guilt about having received a free education in their own country, and not having contributed to its economy at all.
By signing petitions the desi is convinced that he took some productive steps towards betterment of his country. Now he can relax and guiltless-ly use his Indian education to create wealth for the United States.
When confronted with such a desi, it will be advantageous to discuss the last petition that he sent regarding banning Sania Mirza from representing India in tennis after her foot was photographed in the "orthographic" vicinity of the Indian flag. Assure him that you immediately signed the petition and forwarded it to all your friends in Cisco. After this you can continue to talk about how there are too many Indians in Fremont, and that you would like to move to Santa Clara.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
SDL #1 Having white friends.
It is a matter of great importance to the Desi that he/she have as many white friends as possible. This will make them seem cooler to the other Desis that they 'acutally' prefer to hang out with. While hanging out with the non-White-pure-Desi friends, the Desi will often look toward his wife and say nonchalantly "Remember last week when we were hanging out with [insert-name-of-any-white-person-I-know] .. wasn't that fun ?!".
When confronted with such a Desi, one should respond by saying "Oh, it is nice that you hang out with non-Desis as well". This will make the Desi feel much better about himself. Do not, at any point, mention that you go out with drinks with your White-friends all the time, as this will make your Desi friend insecure..
When confronted with such a Desi, one should respond by saying "Oh, it is nice that you hang out with non-Desis as well". This will make the Desi feel much better about himself. Do not, at any point, mention that you go out with drinks with your White-friends all the time, as this will make your Desi friend insecure..
Stuff Desis Like (SDL)...
Inspired by the blog "Stuff White People Like" at http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/
I started reading this a couple of weeks ago.. and its AMAZING how the neuroses of desis and white people are so similar.
Note:- When I refer to "desis" I'm referring to Indians who are temporarily/permanently settled in the US...
I started reading this a couple of weeks ago.. and its AMAZING how the neuroses of desis and white people are so similar.
Note:- When I refer to "desis" I'm referring to Indians who are temporarily/permanently settled in the US...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
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