.... adios...

... on a short sabbatical from blogspace...

... get the feeling I've overdone it this week...


so... ADIOS !!


-me

I recognize 'attention-seekers'

Yup.. I recognize them... the open kinds.. and the subtle kinds as well....

I know how to ignore them too...

But I don't ... generally... coz its contrary to my nature... I don ignore.. UNLESS there's a point to IGNORING...

Its a good way to flirt actually... play the 'ignore' bit...

But I'm a lil too old..and opportunities to flirt... don come by so often anymore.. so I don ignore.. As a rule... I 'notice' and I make no secret of it !

People misinterpret my not-ignoring in different ways... but it doesn't really matter... coz most of these people don really matter...

Those who matter... eventually get me...
Actually I make sure they do :)

---

So I have(had) two friends...
Friend A: Good Percentage of Charm... Good percentage of Good-looks.. Not a high reading in the Brain dept
Friend B: Good percentage of Brain... Appreciable percentage of Good-looks.. Not so lucky on the Charm front...

Both ended up with smart, good looking "money-ed" spouses I hear...

I don remember why exactly I was thinking of this.. but... now I'm wondering about category Three... Good percentage of Charm.. same on the brain.. but.. not so high on the beauty...
Yupppp... I know people in Category III


---

Isn't it weird how ONE person can totally bring the mood of the house DOWN..
Even though I was in a perfectly fine mood when I got back... I'm already mopey today...

sucks man..

I feel like getting out of the house.. but its too cold.. and I got nowhere to go.. not really
:-/

Every rule has exceptions....

Hmmm... interesting statement this... Every rule has exceptions... ...
But is the above statement a "Rule" ??...and if it is... Does it have exceptions ?

I've thought about this... but I'm not the only one apparently... someone in google-space started talking about Gödel's Incompleteness Theorems while pondering on this topic...

But of course.. if yer not the kind who "Plays by the rules" anyway... then the above statement is pretty much cow-crap as far as you go...

-me

Blank.....

So umm... this... is actually the first pic I ever took with my digi-cam.. which is ANCIENT now.. (I mean the pic and the digi cam both..)...




This second pic is of the first car I ever owned... and during the time when I was in the process of selling it off... I used to have dreams about her...
Her name was Chamko... some Mechanic bought it for his son who goes to school at Virginia...
I wanted to gift this car to my daughter when she turned sixteen.. like in the movies... :)




In case yer wondering.. WHY I've put these up here today... well.. yer not the only one who's wondering... :-/


----

Ok so I thought a little more about it.. and I decided MAYBE I put this up..coz I have a lot of upload/download limit left on my account this month !!
You can't just use up 1GB checking email and reading BLOGS ya know...


----

Ok I'm tired.... mentally...
So I'm out...

g'nite.

----

oh oh oh... one more thing before I leave...

Y'no the thing Im happiest about this weekend... is that.. I finally bought an extension cord...
NOW I can have BOTH my vcd player and my modem up and running at the same time...
I have enough sockets at my apt.. but not enough pin adapters...
Its a lil complicated and boring... so I'm not going to explain any more rite now...

I have many more mind-boggling things to think about... like should I.. or should I NOT risk having tea at this hour....


arrrrgggghhhh...

no lku.. I'm NOT fucked up... YOU try writing whatever's going on in yer head.. naah.. you probably can't type that fast ;)

-me

I opine....

.. Its shameful (in my opinion..).. the way the crowd at Eden Gardens jeered the Indian team and supported S.A.
One of the commentators tried to laugh it off saying they are showing a lot of "spirit" cheering the opponents...
.. But it was shameful.. and all those people should be banished to.... umm.. I dunno... mebbe BANGLADESH !!

I LOVED the way the crowd cheered in Mumbai today..and I'm STILL in love with Dravid !
Today's match was a complete TREAT...
.....

Nothing else to report.. its already wayyy past my bedtime

g'nite absent audience,
me

My tombstone...

... I've already decided I don want to be cremated.. I'd much rather be buried... although most smart people whom I've shared this information with... invariably ask me why I care.. and I still don have a good-enuf answer for them...

I'm trying to think about what my tombstone should read...

How about something like this:

Here lies {replace by real name}.... 19** till 20** {replace with real dates}...

"She did what she wanted... !"
{copyright Cartman (South Park) who said "I do what I wan...." !!}
What I really want... is for this to be more than jus 'tombstone-literature'... I want it to be TRUE !!

Hmmm... and now in an attempt to keep up to the promise I've made to meself (to do what I WAN..).. AND since its Sunday..and the cable's out... I'm gonna get back in my blanket and read the "Namesake"...
...not coz its a great novel.. just coz... I kinda wanna know what happens to Gogol.. and also coz I don like to leave a novel half-read.. unless it really bad !!
Although last nite.. I had to put the novel away around the time Gogol's Father dies... it got too depressing for me...

... Or maybe.. I should jus make myself a cup of tea..and stare out the balcony at the trees and the Water tank...

DAMN I lead an exciting life...

"Create New Post"

I click on this tab... almost every day..

I take time off from some other pointless pursuits I have... to follow yet another pointless one... I FOOL myself into thinking I'm going to "create" something ...

But I'm no creator... Vomiting out some mindless shit on this webspace.... is NOT 'creativity' by any standards...
I dont't really write anything insightful or with substance.. I can't create Art.. or Music.. or Poetry...

Of course.. ANYONE (well almost.. ) can Fuck around and PRO-create... but to Create..

Ah.. now THAT remains the privelege of a fortunate few... !!

Today I had...

.. the most dreadful time at lunch...

I went earlier than I usually do..and with a bunch of people... that I don't usually prefer to go with...

Mostly coz of the lack of good conversation...
.. and if i don't have a good conversation at lunch time.. I can't relax..and if I don't get that break... my enthu about the post-lunch-work-session is at an all-time low !

Plus with it being Friday.. I'm already anxious for the 2-day-RESPITE from this place !!

:-/


Why do I blog ? why why why ?
I know why... I have no one to talk to here.. :)

ps: So I watch cricket... I even enjoy it.
But I can't remember names of players of other countries..and I don remember which match I saw when and what the score was.. and whether it rained.. and who was the man-of-the-match..and sometimes.. even the way it ended etc etc...
I thought it was coz I'm a 'fan' and not a 'fan-a-tic'...
but... I do remember stuff about movies..and I don THINK I'm fanatic about movies..

Well whatever.. this is the only conversation that happens at lunchtime.. and I don think I wanna start memorizing stuff..so I can make better CRICKET CONVERSATION...
No no no....

Why is it...

... that sometimes I want a High Powered Career and sometimes all i want is to own a small quaint bookstore in London...

:)

Notting Hill....

Ain't no sunshine... when she's gone....

Every human being...

\... should live one year of their life... completely free...

As in.. COMPLETELY FREE...


I dunno how else to describe the complete freedom I'm talking about.. cept to say.. COMPLETELY FREE !!

No responsibilities... no duties.. no office.. no studying.. no taxes... no curfews.. no bills...

I dunno how one could do it.. :) but DAMN.. wouldn't that be nifty ?


Why is it..that on my way home from work.. I can always think of SIX MILLION things that I wanna blog about.... and as soon as I login.. :) I come up with this lame shit that I've posted !!


hahhaha...

If it weren't for Seinfeld....

.. and the same episode for the nth time...

But seriously... if it weren't for Seinfeld... today would've been AB-SO-LYUTELY--- shit ALL !!

God bless tv and hot tea with a buddy on a cold (? well almost) winter's nite !!

G'nite absent audience...

-me

I could use a hug today...

I totally totally need one...

(deep sigh !!)


Don need no one to ask me any questions.. or try and solve my problems...
Jus a hug..and I'll be on my way...

:-/

Since I've figured out how...

I now KNOW that my popularity ratings are going down down down....

:-/

Ever known someone...

... who(m ??) you felt could see right THROUGH you...

..and not in that good-sort-of-sense.. where you think "Oh.. he completely gets me... he knows what I'm thinking...he knows what I'm REALLY trying to say.. and when he looks into my eyes.. blah-blah-bullshit..."

No, I'm talking about the nasty kind of see-through-you... where you feel like.. even when yer talking to him on phone.. he can HEAR the insecurity in your voice.. he knows when you are 'trying' too hard... and other secret stuff that you don't even admit to yourself most of the time !!

Well... guess what.. I think I have such a character at my work-place...

All I can hope for now is.. that all of the above.. is just a figment of my over-active imagination !!


here's hoping...
-me
ps: On second thoughts.. I think I've just developed some sort of inferiority complex... and this is just a natural reaction to it..
A couple more months.. and I'll be comfortably afloat...

Another excerpt....

... from way back when... (I'm in total nostalgia mode aajkal !!)

> ooooh...****** HATES my GUTS !!!!
> so here's a pattern I've observed...
> everyone who LIKES ME A WHOLE LOT FOR UNKNOWN REASONS (y'no.... " I feel
> very comfortable with you.. I have NO IDEA WHY..."), ends up HATING
> ME...for DIFFERENT tho still UNKNOWN REASONS (y'no..."You make my
> stomach turn..I have NO IDEA WHY...")!
> :))
> People like YOU however.. who KNOW why they (dis/)like me... well.. that
> makes for more easy going/longer lasting relationships !
> "put me on a pedestal..and I'll let you down before you move the ladder
> away !!"
> ;) howzzme analysis ?!
>


Well.. as it turns out... my 'astute' analysis was completely wrong... I ended being friends again with the dude who 'hated my guts' and of course.. I'm not in touch with the dude to whom this note was addressed !!
And of course.. I have NO IDEA WHY !!!
:P

But interesting quote... nonetheless...

In this big bad fast-moving world..

... someone still remembered my cubicle number....

:)

Was kinda cute...

.. When you know someone so well... and you still wanna be with them....

That's Powerful !!


heheh :) this is quote from something on tv rite now...


I dunno ... it doesn't sound as "profound" as the expression on the guy's face who said it...

hehehhe :)

Yaaron...

... I was thinking about this... and y'no what I miss most about my friends..
I think its the way each one of them laughed !! Every one of them has a distinct style.. some have a guffaw.. some just have a HUGE toothy grin.. some have a belly laugh..
Somehow.. whenever I really miss any one of them..and think about them... I picture them laughing.. really hard..

Sometimes they're laughing at my jokes... most often they're laughing at me... but..

:)

ya... I still like to remember them like that.. and I like to miss 'em just like that !!

Take care y'all...

-me

Love 'vs' Arranged....

.. The age-old argument... What is better.. which is the way to go...

The question still remains ofcourse... But my answer... which was ofcourse unequivocally "LOVE"... now seems to have changed..

No no..before you go start putting two and two together... this doesn't have to do with my own experiences...
My confusion... is a reaction to what I've been seeing around me... friends... family... friends of family and families of friends...
Of course I don't have enough sample-space to make statistical conclusions (believe it or not.. a BIG PART of my friends' circle.. .is still pretty single).. but I see a lot of "love" marriages FAILING.. and FAILING HARD !!

I was dicussing with my friends and trying to figure out what the main reasons are for this kind and this DEGREE of "falling out"...
But we didn't come to any reasonable conclusion .. the reasons were many and completely scattered..
Some had to do rushing into a relationship, without giving/taking the time to understand the 'significant' other... hence leading to compatibility issues later in life..
Some had to do with... a falling out as a result of pressured situations where .. the uncontrollable ups and downs on life were too much for one party to handle..
Some had to do with mother-in-law issues with the guy being too much of a mama's boy for anyone's good...

But the end-result is .. I dunno if I should 'recommend' love marriages to anyone.. I'm wondering if I should recommend marriage at all .. :-/


Confused,
me

The "TME" category

.. So there's this certain category of people... that I've just titled the "TME" category... i.e., the "Too Many Excuses" category of people...
They come in all shapes and sizes..and they all "excuse" about different sorts of things...
.. Some about why they didn't finish their work in time... some about why they didn't call when they promised... some why they didn't show up... some why they don't know what they are supposed to.. and the list goes on..

The common factor.. for all these people.. is that their excuses starting streaming out before you ask your question.. or even if you had NO intention of holding any sort of interrogation !!
I don't know what it is... Its definitely some sort of "defense" mechanism that kicks in automatically.. without need for much provocation (is dat a word ?! me-englis-sux)

I'm not commenting about whether their excuses are genuine or not... they might be genuine.. but in most cases, these people end up sounding quite pathetic...

I gotta make sure .. I don unsuspectingly fall into this category.. EVER !!

I feel a weird kind of restlessness....
It feels like .. I should be doing so many things.. but I'm not able to manage them all ... or even one of them ..
I end up doing just the bare minimum... and that too not entirely well...

I come back early from office.. thinking I'll catch up on sleep or some "housework".... I end up watching tv till late night.. then reading my novel till LATER in the nite... then having tea.. stayin awake...
So then I don sleep properly... and then ... I dunno.. crappy day next day !

I feel like I need a vacation... but I just came BACK from one !!
I miss GOA...

:(


Is everybody else happy with their life ? Am I the unsatisfied-minority ? Or am I jus PMS-ed ? Should I give a F*** about anyone else anyway ?

I feel sometimes..that I'm too hung up on everything at work being PERFECT etc... I should concentrate more on myself..
But I dunno.. on the other hand.. I'm such a Narcissist... I don REALLY think or talk much about anything but myself...
Arrrgh..why am I wasting my time and yours...

Hey if any of you are gonna be in Goa for New Year's.. lemme know.. maybe we can meet up !!


Ok... so I'm gonna buy a car... a really old car.... not a new one.. coz
1. I have no idea till when I'm here .. in Blore...
2. A parking lot in my apartment complex costs a THOUSAND bux rental...
3. I don wanna park a brand new car outside the apartment parking
4. And if I take a new car on loan.. and then I decide to leave the country... I don wanna have to pay the whole amount..

or some other shit like that..
My dumbass MAC is suddenly gone really slow !!
X-(

BYE

Dubey jee...

... I watched Monsoon Wedding again.. and I'm still in love with Dubey Jee.. and his silent proposal.. to "Eliss"...
:)

..And I guess the scene between Naseeruddin Shah and Lilette Dubey comes a very close second..


*****************************************************************

Its a little sad.. looks like all I've been blogging about ..ever since my "comeback" is TELEVISION...
But there's really nothing else going on my life worth writing about...

(Deeeeeppp sigggghhhh... ) oh well !!

g'nite !!

-me

Idiot Box ??!!

..and what I always considered the "Idiot Channel"... Star PLUS !

But its late at nite (or early morning....) but I'm watching a show with brilliant performances by Rajeshwari, Mita Vashisht and some others...

Its a show about the life of three women.. at different stages in their life.. their attitudes and their unique ways of dealing with their problems..

Maybe its because of the equation of the family members.. and the familiarity of the language.. or maybe because their family reminds me of people I know.. who have been in or still are in similar situations is what has glued me to this show.. or maybe its just the quality of everthing else on hindi-television..that in comparison makes this show look brilliant !!

The unfortunate part is however.. that the channel chooses to telecase something so good.. at this time.. and they reserve prime time for... actually... I don't even know know what they telecast at primetime anymore...

oh well...
g'nite...
-me

Excerpt from a long-ago yahoo-chat-session

me: I think this city (mebbe even this country).. needs some thappar police..
me: just a bunch of undercover thappar-policeman.. who have authority to SLAP anyone who acts DUMB or STUPID !


me: like people who elbow others in line.. people who spit on the road.. people who park their cars in teh middle of the road to figure out where to go.. and most of all PEOPLE WHO TALK IN THEATRES AND ANSWER THEIR CELL PHONES AND TALK REALLY LOUDLY

me: I'd love to walk upto them and say.. "Sir.. could you please..come OUT of the theatre hall w/ith your hands behind your head.. " .. "yes sir.. YOU.. with the big teeth and gums.. .. yes sir.. you with the cell phone..".. "please follow me sir.. "

me: "now sir.. if you could jus close your eyes for a minute for me sir.. ".. "thank you sir.. ".. ZHAPAKKKKKKK !!


me: arrrrggh.. they make me soooooooo mad !


I think this conversation.. was when I was at my frustrated-WORST !! I've come a long way since then...
Yup... I'm in the.. "I FORGIVE THE WORLD" kinda mood today..
;)

-me

Catch-22

Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. "Is Orr crazy?"
"He sure is," Doc Daneeka said.
"Can you ground him?"
"I sure can. But first he has to ask me to. That's part of the rule."
"Then why doesn't he ask you to?"
"Because he's crazy," Doc Daneeka said. "He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he's had. Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to."
"That's all he has to do to be grounded?"
"That's all. Let him ask me."
"And then you can ground him?" Yossarian asked.
"No. Then I can't ground him."
"You mean there's a catch?"
"Sure there's a catch," Doc Daneeka replied. "Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy."
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.
"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.

Will people visit my blog.. even if I don't blog ??

I'm back...

I don't know WHY or for how long... but I have a feeling I'm back. I'll only have time to blog outside of office hours...
.. which is fine actually.. I've got a decent internet connection at home.. might as well put it to some use !!

- work break !! -