Musings of the Casual Intellectual...

Of women and dresses...

2010-06-12T05:23:00.002+05:30

So here's the deal-i-o...

When women are single they dress up when they go out with men...
And once they are married... they dress up when they go out with women...

Either way Macy's makes a lot of money :P

SDL # 3 Amway Ambush

2009-05-06T04:50:00.005+05:30

Make a trip to "Great America Mall" and wear a t-shirt that has your company's name on it.... Walk into one of the bigger stores, like say Macy's or better-yet Kohl's (coz its cheaper).
Smile at the first three desis you see (they will be with kid and/or wife), and this is the conversation that will ensue:-

"Hey, do you work at Cisco ?!..."
"Um.. no I'm with Oracle (pointing to t-shirt).."
"Oh okay.. were you there at the Oracle Arena for the Mika show ?!"
"Not this year, but I had gone there last year.."
"Yea, that's what. I KNEW I had seen you somewhere... must be there. You look so damn familiar..."
*smile*
"Where do you stay in the bay area ?!"
"Santa Clara"
"Oh I used to live in Santa Clara, but now I've moved to Fremont..
(All this while his wife is just standing there, smiling, not saying a word)
Do you come often here to Great Mall ?"
"Well.. kind of"
"Yes yes, this is a good place for shopping.. so how long have you been in the bay area......"

What ensues is a bunch of generic questions.. essentially leading up to the point where you don't mind giving this person your phone number. Once phone numbers have been exchanged and hands have been shook... Phase I of AMWAY AMBUSH has finished.

The second phase involves multiple calls you will receive from your new best friend, invitations for coffee etc.

Well after phase 3 (coffee, chaat etc with families and general investment advice) you will actually learn the secret of what AMWAY is all about.

The true Desi will come full circle into phase 4, where he will perform his first practice run (under supervision of course) at Kohl's at the Great Mall again..

Alright alright.. I'm sorry...

2009-04-08T05:31:00.002+05:30

so unFUCK YOU !!!

I loved this quote so much.. couldn't find any other place to use it (anonymously enough !!)

Blogging from my iPhone....

2008-08-23T08:20:00.003+05:30

Well... Almost ;)
For today I'm out of things to say !!

SDL # 2 Signing Petitons

2008-04-16T06:18:00.002+05:30

The Desi loves to sign petitions... These petitions are usually with regard to serious topics such as voting for Aishwarya Rai as the 8th wonder, or Taj mahal as the most beautiful thing produced by India till date (or vice versa). There are also petitions regarding general topics such as asking for the resignation of the President of India contending that her brothers have corruptions charges, or to have US declare a National Holiday for Diwali.

Signing these petitions and subsequently forwarding it to atleast forty five other desis on his email list is very important for the desi, as it assuages his guilt about having received a free education in their own country, and not having contributed to its economy at all.

By signing petitions the desi is convinced that he took some productive steps towards betterment of his country. Now he can relax and guiltless-ly use his Indian education to create wealth for the United States.

When confronted with such a desi, it will be advantageous to discuss the last petition that he sent regarding banning Sania Mirza from representing India in tennis after her foot was photographed in the "orthographic" vicinity of the Indian flag. Assure him that you immediately signed the petition and forwarded it to all your friends in Cisco. After this you can continue to talk about how there are too many Indians in Fremont, and that you would like to move to Santa Clara.

SDL #1 Having white friends.

2008-03-29T00:37:00.002+05:30

It is a matter of great importance to the Desi that he/she have as many white friends as possible. This will make them seem cooler to the other Desis that they 'acutally' prefer to hang out with. While hanging out with the non-White-pure-Desi friends, the Desi will often look toward his wife and say nonchalantly "Remember last week when we were hanging out with [insert-name-of-any-white-person-I-know] .. wasn't that fun ?!".

When confronted with such a Desi, one should respond by saying "Oh, it is nice that you hang out with non-Desis as well". This will make the Desi feel much better about himself. Do not, at any point, mention that you go out with drinks with your White-friends all the time, as this will make your Desi friend insecure..

Stuff Desis Like (SDL)...

2008-03-29T00:16:00.007+05:30

Inspired by the blog "Stuff White People Like" at http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

I started reading this a couple of weeks ago.. and its AMAZING how the neuroses of desis and white people are so similar.

Note:- When I refer to "desis" I'm referring to Indians who are temporarily/permanently settled in the US...

That's so gayyy....

2008-03-29T00:07:00.001+05:30

I was wondering... saying "that's so gayyy..." is so gayyy.. isn't it ?!

Thought for the day...

2008-02-21T00:19:00.001+05:30

No matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

We choose our equals...

2008-02-15T13:28:00.003+05:30

... and then we compete with them...

We don't compare ourselves with people much better or much worse off than us. Their success or failure doesn't bother us...

But if our equals get a promotion before us, or a job offer with slightly more money.. they buy a slightly nicer car.. or buy their house 2 years before us.. that bothers us...
We try and look for reasons why our lives are better than theirs.. explanations why our achievements are more fulfilling than theirs..
There's a hint of a guilty pleasure whenever things don't work out for them exactly as planned...

We do that.. don't we...

YOU do that.. don't you ?!
Well.. I don't want to be your equal.. It doesn't matter if I'm better or worse than you... I just don't want to be YOUR competition !

I hate...

2008-02-14T15:46:00.005+05:30

.. show offs .. the worst are the ones that pretend NOT to be.. but still are.. So they think they're being subtle..

Fake people are worse than show offs...
Actually a lot of people are jus delusional.. they convince themselves that they are "genuine".. Its a tough thing to fix, will need YEARS of therapy...

Couples who give each other such appellations .. as Shona.. Jaanu.. and what-not .. are uuugggghhhh...
And there needs to be a law against couples who subject other people around them to their "baby talk".. Thas jus WRONG !

Arrggggh... credit hogs... customer service.. I could just go on and ON today..

So yea Happy Valentine's Day.. think happy loving thoughts !! Unless yer a Shiv Sainik.. in which case go burn anything that's RED !

:-/

The impatient desi...

2007-12-30T06:04:00.000+05:30

.. He's (yes I'm SEXIST) impatient... he's fidgety... he's there at baggage claim with his head sticking out.. so that everyone after him has to do the same to see if their luggage is on its way...

He's in the queue... any queue.. head bobbing up and down... trying to count the number of people in front of him...

He's in the car.. HONKING at you.. if you take 3 seconds more to turn out of the parking lot.. he's ready to pull his window down, stick his thumb out and ARGUE with you... (If he's in such a hurry.. why doesn't he mind wasting time to fight with you ??!!)

And no.. I'm NOT talking abt Bangalore here.. I'm talking abt good 'ol Silicon Valley... eeyup they're here.. and they're here to stay !!

They're unlikely to display their temper in front of an American... but if yer a desi and you get in their way.. don be suprised if the honk their horns.. wave their fists at you and frown with all their might and exclaim... "IMMIGRANTS" !!

Sigh....

2007-12-22T06:12:00.000+05:30

Nahi rakhti dil mein kuch,
Rakhti hoon zubaan par,
samjhe na apne bhi kabhi.
Kah nahi sakti main kya,
sahti hoon chupa kar,
Ek aesi aadat hai meri.
Sabhi to hain jinse milti hoon,
Sahi jo hai inse kahti hoon,
Jo samajhti hoon.

Lucky Ali knows what I mean...

One in 3.8 million....

2007-11-05T14:09:00.000+05:30

... who woulda thunk it !!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21369007/GT1=10547

So we're not the only ones...

From a bi-coastal relationship... to a inter-continental marriage ... to a 4 hr drive every weekend...
Yea, we've come a long way...

Apparently couples like us have really low divorce rates... howz dat for solace ;)

Still smiling,
me.

Yer killing it John....

2007-09-25T11:41:00.001+05:30

... it isn't dead Yet.. but yer not helping any...

Why ?!

I'm really tired today...

2007-09-25T11:27:00.001+05:30

.. Mentally .. physically... and I need to be in my senses tomorrow... EARLY !

I don't know if Ill be able to pull this off.. its taking too much out of me... I'm hanging on.. but barely by the skin of my teeth...
And its beginning to show...

I disguise my fatigue in artificial smiles and small talk.. but I'm sure they see it...

One day I was giving her advice...

2007-09-25T11:22:00.000+05:30

(well it isn't my fault... they jus keep asking me :p)... and she ended up giving me some..
(eeyup.. we see a pattern there.. don't we !!)

She told me Men and Women "befriend" differently...
Women "befriend" to care.. be concerned.. be there.. be the shoulder.. be the support.. make room.. make time... to cry with... to worry with..

Men "befriend" to take for granted... to be at ease.. to forget... to be forgiven... to take up room.. without hesitation.. to laugh with.. to forget with..

Well then.. I asked her.. what should someone like ME do.. I asked her..
I "befriend" Men.. in the only way I know how.. Like a "Woman"...

Should I learn to "befriend" like a Man or teach them to "be" a "friend" to a Woman ?

She had no good answer.. neither is too easy...

One day I was giving him advice....

2007-09-25T11:14:00.000+05:30

... I ended up getting some in return...

... "When do I shut up"... I asked.. "When I do stop revealing all the machinations of my uncontrollable brain ??!!"...
.. "Never" he said... "If you mean anything to her.. she will understand.."...
"She might take her time.. but she'll come around... she'll forgive you.."
"Go on.. tell her everything.. don be afraid... !!"

I did it... and then... I waited... but it never happened..

I revealed all.. the good the bad the ugly the GRUESOME..

But nothing...

She had seen the good.. before... she thought that was me.. in my entirety...
She did not like what else she saw... not even a little bit... She felt betrayed.. I didn't understand...
I had told her everything.. .how could she not understand... I pleaded with her... but to no avail...

I tell myself I've given up.. but I lie... in the depths of my heart.. I'm still waiting...

People say I have an "Attitude Problem"....

2007-09-25T10:40:00.000+05:30

.... yea they do... (Can you believe it ??!!)

I say to them.. I've just got the "Attitude"... they've got the "Problem" !!

B-)

No time to blog...

2007-09-22T00:16:00.001+05:30

.. but then can't get myself to concentrate on work today...

So here are some ramblings......

Why do so many desi women find the need to do the whole "shy bride" routine after they get married ?

I mean I understand that not everyone is an extrovert by nature.. but still.. is there an un-written rule somewhere that if you jus got married, and you go to meet your husband's friends you have to sit quietly in a corner till someone talks to you ? (I din get the memo on this one x-( )
I mean.. what gives ??!!
Over the years.. at so many gatherings I have met these women.. these otherwise outgoing, talkative women.. who jus sit there.. waiting for someone (like me ??) to approach them and get them to mingle with the crowd...
I mean.. there are times when I'm the newbie in the crowd.. and I still end up playin the ice-breaker !

Oh well.. I think someone should jus tell em.. that there's no real need... and they'll save themselves a lot of time (and boredom I'm sure..) if they jus mingle normally !!

Too much work.. too lil time...

2007-08-30T04:00:00.000+05:30

.. Expired passport...

..Family arriving..

.. 7 a.m. meetings

.. Dirty laundry..

.. Faint headaches ..

.. Over-dose of caffeine...

.. But y'no what... life's still okay.. eeyup !!

I have what I need..and a plough through...

Your salary in Bananas ??!!

2007-08-28T05:11:00.000+05:30

Well.. not quite.. but here while I continue to fret over the fact that I don't get paid enough.... I find out about this guy...

A very intelligent... "work smart" kind of guy.. who at this appraisal... instead of negotiating a Raise.. negotiates for "fewer" working hours :)

All the while that I was trying to figure out how I could work MORE to eke out more money/hr I spend at work.. this dude, was trying to figure out.. how to work smart and work out a deal where he now works fewer hours for the same money..
Claims he already has enough money, all he needs is more time on his own !!

WellI'llbeDAMNED !! :)

Today was about... (in no particular order..)

2007-08-28T00:57:00.000+05:30

... weird dreams about family...

... walnuts, almonds and raisins..

.. financial planning...

... looking silly in front of IT..

... Mr. "You-know you know"..

... toast and an over-easy...

... serious Gaffes in code...

... washing dishes for the umpteenth time..

... easy farewells... knowing we'll meet again soon..

... Bangkok confusion...

... early morning calls..

... sleepy sleepy days...

... thinking about friends who are absconding...

... brief uncomfortable thoughts... easily overcome..

... rrrreallly really sleepy...

... missing Dad...

If I stop spending time with a friend...

2007-08-24T11:31:00.000+05:30

... to be able to "be" a better friend to her...
Does that make me a good friend.. or bad friend... ?

:-/ hmmm....

When two people get together...

2007-08-22T02:42:00.000+05:30

... they usually go one of two ways...

One in which the number of things they do together becomes a small intersection of what the two have in common...

Two in which each one takes the opportunity to try and appreciate /learn and understand the interests of the other person... as a result of which the activities they can both be involved in.. close to double !

The first one is unfortunate as you get to spend less time together (assuming you like the things that you do.. so you spend your time doing them alone...)
The second one is ideal in the sense that you get to explore areas that you haven't had the opportunity/interest to yet.. and that expands your own horizons alongwith giving you more together time..

There is a third way it can go... its when one person completely gives up on what they ever liked to do and do only what the second person enjoys....
This.. in my opinion.. is worse than the first one... UNLESS of course.. you ACTUALLY completely change and begin to like ONLY the stuff that your significant other does...
THAT is kinda pathetic.. but yer probably happier if you have sufficiently convinced yourself that your significant others' interests are now YOURS !!

2007-08-22T01:33:00.001+05:30

So its true about a lot of North Indian parents (of boys mostly ??!! though I can't be too certain...).. and maybe of others too .. that the "beautifulness" of their children's spouses are an indication of how "good" their marriage will be !
Unfortunately sometimes they make their opinions so clear that they might actually end up "affecting" the marriage .. hence making their initial assumption correct !!

.. or something like that atleast.. you get my drift !

But its not just the parents.. aren't we all guilty of saying.. "He/She coulda done better !!"... alluding to the looks of one half of a couple.. at some points in our lives ?
Or sometimes our reactions are almost patronizing... "But he's a wonderful person.. "

So how important is it.. for a couple to be equally matched in the looks department ? Or for a person to pursue and woo (?? is dat english for "patao") a person who's good looking "enough" for their families and friends ?
I dunno... I think I know a lot of "beautiful" people who wouldn't evoke a second glance from a bystander... as also a lot of very attractive faces that I can't stand to be around for more than minute.
But I also know people who are concerned that their significant others do not evoke appreciative glances from friends and family...

Aren't we all just a little too needy ? :)

Nother thing about yesterday...

2007-08-20T21:49:00.000+05:30

... After a long time I noticed the ladies taking care of their "boyz" rather than the other way around... which weirdly enuff (after all that talk about women's lib and whatnot).. seems to have become the Norm !!

Amazing weekend...

2007-08-20T10:48:00.000+05:30

... A fun 'activity filled' weekend after a looooong time...

Went out camping with some friends... and some of their friends.. It was my first "married couples" outing.. And it was fun !! Eeeeyup you better believe it !!

I must admit I din think I would enjoy it this much..
I mean I was all enthu about the camping and stuff.. Just the idea of spending the night under the stars was really inviting... but I haven't had much luck in meeting people I get along really well with...

But this was easy... we were three couples.. quite different in our own ways...
Just the common sentiment of wanting to pack ASMUCHFUNASHUMANLYPOSSIBLE in our one day of outing.. did the trick for us..
And we din waste one second...
Everything from.. making the khichdi .. pitching the tents.. renting the dilapidated fishing boat (that even stopped.. bang in the middle of the huuuuge lake.. stranding us till someone noticed and agreed to tow us back ashore) .. and then finally the chilling out in the sand/sun/hardly-a-beach beach was simply amazing !!

I think I also needed this outing to unwind... I've been wound a lil tight the last couple of weeks..

Ahhh.... I'll sleep well tonite... :)

Happy Bday MORON !!

2007-08-18T01:39:00.001+05:30

x-(

Ah..what a WONDERFUL day...

2007-08-17T05:01:00.000+05:30

.. Spent the first half of my day in meetings.. and the second part of my day.. adding TABS to statements..

Can you f***in believe it ? Because I'm not a power user of emacs/vi I will be adding about 2000 tabs to multiple files today..
I can almost feel RSI setting in my wrist :-/

Dheere jalna.. dheere jalna dheere jalnnnaa......

Mein deewana... hoon mein deewana.. aise jaane na doonga jaana..

"With great power... comes great responsibility..." <- SPIDERMAN wise(??)
... and...
"With lot of information... comes a whole lot of nonsense.." <- INTERNET wise

2007-08-15T00:39:00.000+05:30

I thought if I keep this window open.. next to me.. for (what's left of.. ) the entire day today... I might be able to capture some fleeting thoughts etc..

Irrational prejudices and biases stick pretty hard in my brain.. and refuse to vacate even when explicitly commanded to...
Makes me wonder if they really ARE rational after all.. but NO... that's not the point.
The point is they DO take up MIPS that could be better spent elsewhere...

Shaadi.com profiles that start with "Myself god-fearing, jovial... " blah blah.. bullshit is such a turn-off for me. Might have something to do with the fact that I'm a bitchy-atheist.. ;)
But naah.. its just way-too-run-of-the-mill.. and hence entirely boring and unimaginative.. thas all..

Hmm.. its an odd thing that I should feel sick today... considering I had all of yesterday to do that... ;)
Hmm.. maybe its the crap I have been consuming the past few days.. I think it might be time to go partly vegetarian.. I did it once 7 years ago.. on a stupid bet ! Went without meat for 40 days.. but I remember cheating on the diet with some Chicken flavored Ramen...

Looking forward to camping this weekend.. and to Junior's arrival in 2 weeks !!

Power emacs user.. I should just get one of those power emacs users' guide, set a deadline for myself and DOIT !!

focus.... Focus.... FOCUS GODDAMNIT !!

Today's the kind of day..

2007-08-10T12:51:00.000+05:30

... that I should blog about...

Nothing spectacular happened... but nothing really went wrong...

I went in to work... did just enough to not feel completely useless..
One meeting happened and one got cancelled...
Got some good sane advice from a good friend... followed it.. and things are working out fine..
Had good food with some good friends...

A nice cool breeze is blowing outside.. and I'm slowly getting sleepy...
Have a call to attend early in the morning...

Looking forward to the weekend...

Time...

2007-07-12T02:01:00.001+05:30

So this one's a truly weird thought... but like most other weird thoughts.. someone's probably already thought of this..

I don have time to google and confirm/disprove the same.. so here goes nothing:-

What if time is such, that in its infinitesimally small fraction, it is actually purely one dimensional. What I mean by that is, that there is no such thing as "In the meantime" !

Everything that happens, happens uniquely at a particular infinitesimally small instance of time, the only reason it 'seems' to happen at the same time to us is that we're not humanly or in any other way, capable of measuring that delta...

This means that there is no such thing as a true "parallel" in time... Does this also make everything causal in a way ?

Arrrrgggghh... I'm sorry.. we're out of time..

See you next week, at the same time.

Chat transcript with a buddy...

2007-06-21T02:34:00.000+05:30

1:46 PM chat-buddy: do u believe in the funda of "bad time"

or its just human flaws and there is no external factor

1:47 PM me: I believe we are all miniscule contributers to universal probability !

chat-buddy: explain

me: :D howzzat for a philosophy

1:48 PM well it isn't jus human characteristics (why call them flaws if they make me beautiful).. it is a LOT of external factors as well

Some of them are straightforward right in front of us..and hence easy to perceive.. some of them are far away... but still affect us in finite ways

1:49 PM chat-buddy: hmm

me: its like P(A) = P(A/Cn) * P(Cn) + P(A/Cn-1) * P(Cn-1)... and so on

its an infinitely long equation

1:50 PM The people who claim "I don't believe in destiny.. i control my life" .. are merely trying to figure out as many of these finite Cn(s) as they can and try and control them. People who say "Jo hoga so hoga"... basically think the Cn(s) are way too many.. and try not to think about them !

But its all there.. whether you like it or not !

Kya bolta hai.. make any sense ?

1:51 PM chat-buddy: hmm..yea

how do u factor in time in the eqn

all the P(Cn) are varying

me: of course

so is the probability with time !

1:52 PM and that's what it means to say "maybe just the TIME was wrong" (context. Romeo and Juliet , Dire Straits)..

chat-buddy: he he

me: :D

ye thoda entertainment ke liye

par hua kya ?

chat-buddy: kuch nahi

me: hmm.. that can be a problem :)

1:53 PM chat-buddy: over the last 6 months..i hav been putting sincere effort into everything i do

but none of it translates to tangible results

i was jus wondering....coz i cant figure wat more/better i could hav done

1:54 PM me: yea.. mebbe there wasn't anything more you could have done

external factors not in your control... might have been responsible

chat-buddy: it leads to a question...how shd i maintain my confidence

me: Id say don beat yourself about it.

chat-buddy: im not beating...im jus tryin to find an explanation to it

..but human nature makes u introspective

me: introspective is fine

it is the search for that ONE factor that you think you might have been able to alter

1:56 PM and it helps you for next time... if you FIND one

but introspection can lead you to the result that you actually DID do everything you could have !

and then taht's alright

chat-buddy: true

ive realised confidence is one thing that can do wonders

me: actually the lack of it can do weird things to do

when you have it.. yer working full potential.. that's alL ! :)

1:58 PM it jus lets you do everything that you are capable off

thats it..

but human nature is such that we lose it very quickly

and so we;re rarely working at that level !

1:59 PM Anyway.. I'm an-atheist.. so all my philosophy.. follows the same route...

2:00 PM "Faith" that a lot of "believers" talk about.. to me is basically an artificial (??) means to bolster your own confidence... taht lets you work at close to full potential...

And it works for a lot of people :)

Used to work for me when I was younger

(much younger ;-/)

chat-buddy: hmm :)

2:01 PM me: Book likh daalu kya bol ?! ;)

chat-buddy: haan..haan...bilkul

me: hahah :D

chat-buddy: :P

me: the only way I can ever get rich ;)

The Bitch Brigade...

2007-06-14T08:05:00.000+05:30

There are days when I jus can't "HELP" being bitchy.. and NO.. it DOESN'T have to do with 'that-time-of-the-month'.

I'm like that dude "Partho" in "Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd"...

I HATE myself after it..and I can't control myself before it.. and now I feel like banging my head against a wall.. Cept that it won't help my situation at all..

I REALLY need something to do in the evenings... I really REALLY do !! :(

And I have no friends... I really don't.. the only people who (sort of) like me.. are either on the other end of the country or the other side of the planet..

Dis SUX man !

Is it time ??!!

2007-04-17T13:10:00.000+05:30

... to go off Orkut ?

.. to spend free time after work doing something useful ? Something that might be beneficial to me.. my health.. my marriage.. my career.. my financial situation... my mind ?!

Is it time really ? .. to grow up ?

So soon ? And I was jus getting started....

The countdown hath begun.. and it will end in less than half dozen days...

It's easy...

2007-04-17T13:07:00.000+05:30

Back up.. farther and farther away ..

Till you can hear.. fewer and fewer words…

And then you pick those you want to hear.. and ignore the ones you find uncomfortable…

You play Chinese whisper with your friends.. tell them your version of the truth..

The convenient “truth”..

And they will believe you.. coz you’ll tell them someone else said it….

Not you…

Diarizing...

2007-04-04T02:11:00.000+05:30

Left.. center.. right... center.. left.. center.. and repeat..

My boss says it isn't necessarily always physical stress that causes this kind of pain. He hinted that I maybe mentally stressed..

I told him I don't always realize it when I'm mentally stressed..

Effects of physical stress are easy to recognize.. I usually end up getting a new scratch on my car...
-------

The gift of poetically representing the abstract is one I was born without.. well I'm sure no one's born with it... so its one that I never mastered...

I'm good at exactly the opposite.. once I understand something I can explain it tersely yet completely to someone who doesn't get it yet...

But.. on the other hand.. its been more than once that I have been accused of being a sophist..
-------

I started to read Interpreter of Maladies.. short stories.. I didn't mind them at all...
After the first one I knew what to expect from the rest so I wasn't disappointed when nothing very significant happens in them...

I almost felt like I could write like her.. all I need is one incident.. or one dialog.. and then I have to sketch in the utmost boring familiar recognizable detail the events that lead up to it.. Basically pen down every insignificant link in the chain of thoughts that crosses the character's mind...

It shouldn't be difficult, maybe I should suggest this to Dad..

A dull pain..

2007-04-04T00:10:00.000+05:30

.. in the neck..

Nothing much to blog about.
Not there was ever much to blog about before.. but the motivation is lower than ever...

I've stopped reading other blogs as well.. I don't find them as interesting anymore...
I don't know if it is actually the content that lacks punch of simply a lack of interest in what other people have to say about their lives/loves/interests or lack thereof.

It seems pointless.. almost stupid to discuss ideas, opinions etc. Simply words without action... They cause disagreements.. send my brain into hyperactive mode hence taking me longer to fall asleep..
And I need sleep to be able to get up and do what I have to do.. so I can make money so that I can then spend it on being able to do things that I want to do...

Still haven't been able to figure out what I'm really passionate about...

I like what I do.. most of the time.. but not always..
I was going to say "its not rocket science"..but then... who knows if I'd have really found "rocket science" exciting..

I thought about having a kid.. yea.. I did..
I hope it wasn't coz of boredom.. that would be sad..
But no.. I'm not ready for that as yet..

I have some new songs though... they don't make too much sense but I like them a lot...

Visual DNA (??!!)

2007-03-09T04:40:00.001+05:30

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

My WORD !!

2007-02-10T08:33:00.000+05:30

No no.. I'm not exclaiming "ENGLISH" style.. I actually have a word now.. and its ALL MINE !!

bzoooked (adv.):

Experiencing an incomplete
sense of accomplishment
accompanied by partial
contentment and exhaustion;
in addition to positive
anticipation (with a hint of
anxiety) about the future

Usage: "I am f***ing bzoooked today !!"

Desi red-necks from Freemont !

2007-02-06T03:15:00.000+05:30

I met someone yesterday after a long time.. and he pissed me off !
(so what else is new.. you might ask.. but here goes anyway...)

He belongs to the category of people that live SMACK DAB in the middle of the desiest-town in the bay area.. I meet him right outside a Desi store.. and he starts to talk about how he "hates" it here coz there are so many desis... and mind you.. he's there to pick up some groceries... they're always cheaper at the desi store y'no...

He wasn't born and brought up in this country.. but he's moved here now.. and he's finally got his green card.. so maybe NOW he thinks that there are too many desis in this country.

What really pissed me off was that he thought I would be okay with hearing him say this ? Now I'm as desi as you get.. I dance pretty much only to desi music, and would trade a glass of expensive wine for a "tapri ki chai" anyday.. so I didn't get the idea behind him sharing his anti-desi opinions with me !!

I understand that some people find life here better than in India.. and they develop interests that are probably more common among Americans than Indians..
But if they start to make comments like these about Indians themselves.. what can we expect from Americans ?

Off to the mid-west for these desi red-necks I say.. they need a taste of their own medicine !

Women are judgemental...

2007-02-06T03:00:00.000+05:30

Trust me.. I KNOW.. I am one !!

Its almost like we have to make an "effort" to NOT be so.. We're judgemental of all human beings.. but no matter how much the men reading this are nodding their heads in agreement.. we're WORST on our own kind !

Women are the harshest (is that a word ?) when judging women !

We do it in different ways..
Some of us judge physical appearance... height, weight, looks etc... ( ask any teen/pre-teen in high school in this country...)

If they're ok in that department, we judge their intellect.. I mean if they're pretty.. they've GOT to be dumb right ?

However, if they don't lack in the IQ department either.. then we judge their morality.. the clothes they're wearing and what not...

We judge women who leave their jobs to have children .. and we also judge those who leave them behind at a creche to go back to pursue their careers...

We judge women who are not vocal about their opinions..and then we judge those who express it too often or too loudly..

We judge our ex-boyfriends' current girlfriends.. our current boyfriends' ex-girlfriends.. we spare NO ONE !!

This is also linked to our constant need for justifying what we do..

Does anyone really "care" why we do what we do ? Or in the end.. are we simply justifying our own behaviour to ourselves ?

Is it because we don't even spare ourselves in this need to judge everyone ?

There's some seriously complex circuitry up there... one wrong move.. and you can blow our fuse... WATCH OUT !!

Its about time....

2006-11-29T07:25:00.000+05:30

Yea.. its been a while hasn't it ?

I thought of coming back-to-blog several times... there were a lot of things I wanted to "air" out..

- Was re-thinking the whole "Miniscule contributer to Universal probability" thing..

- Wanted to bitch about Customer service in this country

- Wanted to discuss my theory on time travel.. how I believe that Events at time N are the sum total effect of Events at time N - 1 , N - 2, N-3.... -infinity + Events at time N + 1, N + 2, N + 3... +infinity (which contradicts my earlier opinions on destiny and some such.. basically now what I'm, saying is that I DO believe in destiny)

- Wanted to write about my thoughts on evolution... I have a new theory: Maybe when we understand the universe completely... our brains will also evolve completely, and our physical bodies (as we know/ see them) will disappear completely and we will become the universe. So what I'm implying is that we aren't the most evolved species in the universe, we are the likely the "least"... any similar (??) species that existed before us, has evolved "into" the Universe... But it is probably a cycle (with a period, much greater than our Earth's existence) so it will happen again... and again.. and again.. Also the universe is bigger than anyone believes..

- Was also thinking about Godel's incompleteness theorem again, and Schrodinger's cat experiment: What if everything we observe is basically a "side-effect" of the observation. We bias every event, with the observation, and there are million other (probabalistic) events but we can observe only one..

So yes... I've been thinking.. wondering.. just not blogging...
But now I'm back.. maybe I'll stick around awhile...

All my bags are packed...

2006-09-11T01:06:00.000+05:30

... but... I dunno if I'm ready to go as yet...

In some ways.. I don't need to prepare.. I've done this before..

In certain others.. I've been prepared for a long while..

But in certain other ways... I dunno if I'm ready... or if I'll ever be...

Its difficult.. to leave like this... you do leave a part of you behind....

But you also carry it with you.. a part of the place.. a part of every person who meant anything.. a part of everything you've associated with for this period...

I dunno its jus weird...

"Weird" is just a very convenient word to describe something that's so .. so complex..

Gori teri aankhein kahein...ki tu raat bhar soyi nahee...

2006-08-18T04:47:00.000+05:30

FQ...

2006-07-31T23:22:00.000+05:30

... No no.. I'm not trying or say f*** y** to someone and being "smrrrt" about it !
The acronym in the title of this post... has two expansions...

1.. Female Quotient...

Here's what bugs me about men (I know I know.. the men are probably going.. here we go again..)..
If yer a gal like me.. and don wear make up on a regular basis.. not really a shopper.. and a gal with an "appetite" to match most men yer age... they you an exception to the "rule"... Which is SO not true.. considering I know PLENTY women like me...
Not only that.. they go to the extent to saying... we're talking about GIRLS... not YOU...
So I'm being outcast coz I can't be typecast... I've been labeled as someone with a low "Female Quotient"
On the flipside..they make flip remarks about women who DO like to shop..and are dainty and sensitive and remember dates etc..

So what do they want really... they want gals like me to act like their mental stereotype image.. so that THEN they can make fun of us...
That's not jus WEIRD... that's SCREWED up...
Y'no what I'd say to them... I'd say... FQ !! and this time.. I AM being smrrrt about it...

2... Fantasy Quotient...

Now this is the other kind of FQ.. Its a fantasy quotient... Its a quotient each individual posseses that measures the degree to which they live their life in a "fantasy land"... People with a high FQ.. live on romantic novels.. Are quite emotional about the men/women they seem to fall in love with all the time..
And people with similar FQ like similar movies I've noticed....

People with low FQ however, prefer to watch the news rather than the Valentine's special marathon on HBO.. Don't get what the "big deal is" everytime the studio audience goes "awwwww.." when Rachel and Ross kiss :) (okay.. Friends is on... not my fault !!)

On the average, women have higher FQ than guys.. and on the average, men with higher FQs.. or atleast ones that can "put on" a higher FQ are considered smoooth with the layyydeees...

Too high an FQ can get troublesome, these are the guys that watch a movie and decide to slit their wrists for the gal they saw yesterday and fell in "love" with. Or think they need to "end their 19 year old life" coz their parents think they are too young to get married to the next door junkie neighbour...

I'm rambling..

bye.

Its jus you and me kiddo....

2006-07-26T21:14:00.000+05:30

... yup.. jus you an me... no one else cares... and even if they DO.. they don really understand...

... and if you aren't with the program either... then ... well.. then its jus me kiddo...

yup.. that's the way it goes.. doesn't it !!

Had a GREAT weekend...

2006-07-23T14:54:00.000+05:30

... My friend and I went to the theatre... we'd been wanting to do that for a while.. but somehow the plan never materialized... until yesterday...

.. Went to the Ranga Shankara.. saw a play called Double Comedy Hysteria or something like that..
A Chennai-based troupe called Evam I think.. they were pretty damn good !!

... they did a couple of Monthy-Python sketches first... complete with the Brit accent and funny expressions... and post intermission went onto a humorous adaptation of Hamlet..

.. Three guys... took a while to get the audience's pulse..but once they had it... they went for it !! They had perfect comic timing !

.. It was going pretty well... till about the intermission.. and I was tellng my friend .. how whenever I see one of these good theatre performances.. I get this urge to join some kind of theatre workshop...

.. Well post the intermission... my wish was granted... I got "picked" from the audience to play-out a scene.. I got to be Ophelia.. and I got the whole theatre experience... include the critique.. as well as thundering applause after my piece-de-la-resistance... Ophelia's full-throated scream.. that I converted into a squeak making full use of my artistic license...
They nick-named me Bob.. and picked on me for quite sometime.. sending the audience in splits... Well.. the fact that I wasn't wearing any shoes (I always take em off when Im having a good time..).. jus added to the "fun"

When the play ended.. almost everyone there was looking at me and smiling and grinning... as we walked out of the arena..

Even minus the workshop I was having a pretty great time.. but what with.. its a day I'll remember for a WHILE ! :)

Its a natural progression...

2006-07-19T23:41:00.000+05:30

Take ONE...

... You see someone... or meet someone for a short period of time.... u think he's cute.. good looking... You like his smile... his hair...
You talk to him a little more... you think he has an attitude problem... you probably don't have anything in common with him.. You're sure nothing about you will intrigue or interest him...

Take TWO...

... Its been a week.. you find you DO have stuff in common... a LOT of stuff... And its not his attitude.. he's jus shy... and takes time opening up.... He actually seems interested in talking to you..
But y'know... he's not that good looking up-close !!

---------

Its funny how first impressions change... happens all the time to me...

They go RIGHT ACROSS... 180 degrees.. good to bad.. bad to good... tis all the same !

Too quick to judge she sez... too quick to judge !!

I hate em...

2006-07-19T23:33:00.000+05:30

.. my office guys....

... I hate em hate em hate em... they are immature... sexist...

.. No.. not all of them... but a LOT of them...

:(

..I jus need to learn to SHUT UP !! Not react... not point it out when they are talking like the MORONS that they are... and DEFINITELY not argue with them...

... not not not... I don't have too long here... so WHY BOTHER !!

Today I know exactly...

2006-07-19T00:13:00.000+05:30

... how much I matter to you....

... Or maybe how little...

... I know exactly how you feel about me... because that's exactly how much... or how little I feel about some other people "in my life".. no... not you... someone else...

.. Its this precise position... right on the edge where you have "insignificants" on one side.. and "significants" on the others...

.. I don't matter as much that you are there at my beck and call... or among those whose mood-swings you mirror... but I know you'd ask me what's wrong... if I don't tell you... eventually..

You'll there when I need your help.. and ask for it.. but you won't figure out I need it.. on your own..

.. But you never promised anything more... you never promised anything... and it would be unfair of me to take anything for granted..

.. It all came to me in a flash... it was so clear... and I don't feel bad...

Actually I always knew... but now... I won't hope for it to change....

Take care... all of you..

I can't BELIEVE I don't own an umbrella...

2006-07-15T15:31:00.000+05:30

.. the Number of hours we used to spend buying a "good quality" umbrella.. that won't go "belly up" everytime the monsoon shows its fury..
And of course.. EVERYONE of them did.. cept for the one that Dad bought in Korea.. hmm.. I think I lost that in MD !

Not just umbrellas.. rainy shoes... Something that doesn't cut yer feet too badly or make em all shrivelled up !!
And extra band-aids to keep in the school bags.. coz Rainy shoes ALWAYS came with their share of shoe-bites !!

I remember when I was in 1st standard (YES I DO remember those days.. quite vividly).. I wanted Red Gum Boots.. yea.. I think that's what they were called..
And mom didnt' buy me those.. there was this Bata shoe shop in Sector Market.. and I used to wistfully stare at those shoes everyone time we'd walk past that place.. (which was every alternate day atleast !!).. and Mom would shake her head and say.. "Nahee bachche.. usmein paer kharaab ho jaate hein.. ".. But other kids were wearing them !! :-/

Also.. I remember once.. this was in school.. I had those dark brown Sandak sandals.. and the PT instructor (Bhagade Sir)... during assembly.. calls a girl to come forward.. she's wearing those closed black rainy shoes.. and then calls me as well.. to face the entire assembly..
I was so excited.. y'see I was the academic sort.. and not good at ANYTHING the PT instructor would approve off.. and he was always the favorite with everyone.. so to be someone HE noticed..was a thing of pride !
So.. gettin back to my short story.. he calls us up in the front..and gives a lecture on Rain wear.. and how the "uniform" code held for rain wear as well.. And then he asks the whole assembly.. "Now which kind of shoes are correct uniform code.."..
Oh.. and they weren't mine... :( So much for being Bhagade's pet !

Not that it mattered what kinda shoes we wore... coz at the first opportunity.. off they came.. GOD it used to fun walking barefoot in the rain.
My colony.. one of the cleanest, greenest place in Mumbai.. had a really good drainage system.. so it looked so beautiful durin the monsoon..and the roads and the footpaths were all squeaky clean..
Another favorite past time.. was to try and split EARTHWORMS in two..and then wait to watch them walk their own two paths... also watching those little boys from Chikkuvaadi slide on the slime in the gutters and try and catch crabs to take home and have for dinner !!

Hmm.. anyway.. its the rain outside that's getting me nostalgic... maybe I should go out for a walk.. sans the umbrella... ;)

This past month....

2006-07-10T12:23:00.000+05:30

.. a number of uncharacteristic things happened.. to ME ...

... I fell in love with someone.. fell in love with somethings.. that I never thought I could even be remotely interested in...

... Yesterday.. my heart broke...

... Today.. I'm in a sullen mood.. trying to forget it happened... trying to get back to life..the way it was before all this happened...

A decent weekend...

2006-07-03T01:37:00.000+05:30

.. after a long long time !!

Here's a summary report !!

--------------NONE|||||A LITTLE|||||GOOD AMOUNT|||||A LOT

BEER/BACARDI-----------------------------X

FOOTBALL-----------------------------------------------X

MOVIES-----------------------------------X

ALONE TIME-------------------------------X

HANGING OUT WID FRIENDS--------------------------------X

SMS/CHATTING---------------X

ON DA PHONE----------------X

OFFICE WORK---X

HOUSE WORK-----------------X

COOKING--------------------X

CLEANING------X

EATING OUT-----------------X

LISTENING TO MUSIC---------X

BLOGGING-------------------X

SURFING-----------------------------------------------X

Ok this graph (??!!) is somehow.. supposed to be indicative of a quantitative measure of the quality of my weekend.. (umm.. does that make it a qualitative measure really ?!)... Don really know HOW to use this data...
But mebbe I can use the same template for next weekend.. and then do a mapping-comparison and derive some meaningful statistics out of it !

hahahaha...

take care y'all !!

-me

Idiot Box Gyan...

2006-07-01T14:38:00.000+05:30

... ( at the risk of sounding like a self-help-book-reader... )

Heard someone say something on VH1 today.. that made a lot of sense... :-/ yea VH1 !!

" We are all incharge of our own personal happiness.."
And of course you are entitled to make decisions along-the-way that take you there...

Something I totally believe in...

What this also means is that.. if I'm not "happy"... it reflects poorly on my "decision making" ability !!

Hmm... something to think about !!

Weekendz here....

2006-07-01T02:40:00.000+05:30

... and I'm so so bored...

.. I got nothing to do... I can go to office.. and WORK..but I don wanna....

.... yup.. nothing's new !

:-/

Watchin nother movie now... My House in Umbria...

Maybe I should swap the couch and the bed... will be good for my neck !

:( I wanna go to the Mark Knopfler concert too...

Ok can't watch this movie.. needs too much concentration...

And I DON'T LOOK LIKE TULSI frm KSBKBT !! I HATE looking at those photos...

Why do they show cartoon shows late at nite... I mean do they actually think kids are up at this time.. watching cartoons ??!!

Bees buzzing... ENIGMA....

SMALLVILLE... is this an old episode or a new one ?!

... Note to Self....

2006-06-29T23:35:00.000+05:30

Do NOT watch weird movies late at nite !!

Its funny how I storm off to watch movies alone in the theatre.. but I look for company when I want to watch one at home !

What is it ?!

2006-06-28T18:18:00.000+05:30

Its not just someone or something that catches your interest..... its that quality that "keeps" you interested...

A lot of things/people will make you want to pause and give a second glance... maybe even stop and stare or talk...
You may even obsess about it/them for a while...

But its what/who you still enjoy after a week.. a month.. YEAR... that's what you wanna end up with...

Its all about recognizing that quality...

Two of my closest friends are ending up together after.. hmm.. 5 years of break-ups and make-ups..
It was a long time... methinx.. but better late than never !!
They've finally realized what we ALL knew way back then... that they're PERFECT for each other !!

Kinda expected... still kinda nice...

Missed the match...

2006-06-27T23:07:00.000+05:30

.. Apparently Ghana was brilliant though they lost out 3-0 ! :-/

... Over-worked today... finished what I could tomorrow today...

..... Didn't have dinner...

But on the FLIPSIDE...

I heard some of my favorite songs..

1. Road ta Hell...

Well I’m standing by a river

But the water doesn’t flow

It boils with every poison you can think of

And I’m underneath the streetlight

But the light of joy I know

Scared beyond belief way down in the shadows

And the perverted fear of violence

Chokes the smile on every face

And common sense is ringing out the bell

This ain’t no technological breakdown

Oh no, this is the road... to HELL !!!

2. Coldplay... Fix you"

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

3. Well this one's not one of my favs.. but still something I sing-along-too

CITY HIGH - WHAT U GONNA DO

What would you do if your son was at home

Crying all alone on the bedroom floor cuz he's hungry

And the only way to feed him is ta

Sleep wit' a man for a little bit of money

And his daddy's gone

But what with the cool breeze an' all.. I enjoyed listenin to the radio...

That's the nice thing about music.. everyone has their favorites.. and they're unique..and that's what makes it special..

Some of your favorites... overlap with other people's favorites..and that makes you feel good.. and some of them .. yer the ONLY one who can stand 'em... and THAT makes you feel good...

Whatever.. I'm BUZZED rite now !!

It wasn't enough....

2006-06-27T13:14:00.000+05:30

It wasn't enough that you stabbed me in the back... you did it just after you patted me on the head and said something nice to me...

It wasn't enough that you told me it was always me... you waited and waited and waited.. till I was finally over you...

Hopes crashed...

2006-06-21T01:59:00.000+05:30

... so suddenly...

Why the FUCK are good things allergic to my life...

I'm fuckin tired man.. I need a MIRACLE to happen to ME...

I'm so fuckin tired of this SHIT !!!!!

One for the migraine...

2006-06-21T01:35:00.000+05:30

.. and 'nother one for the back-ache...

Ah.. I've got all sorts of excuses...

But its got me worried.. coz I'm getting used to it... looking forward to a couple of drinks every other day...

Numbs the pain.. helps me take my mind off "stuff I need to keep my mind off of" !!

Noose or Knot

2006-06-18T14:54:00.000+05:30

(borrowed the title from a blog-I-frequent...http://xxfactor.blogspot.com)

The most "pathetic" category of guys I know.. are those who "pretend" that life has or will become HELLISH after marriage..
I mean.. I understand, appreciate and fully acknowledge the fact that marriage isn't for everyone..

BUT THEN WHY GET INTO IT !!

No one's putting a GUN to your head... so why willingly get into something that you think will turn your life into a living HELL !!

I think that's the WORST thing you can do to a woman.. get married to her..and then act like you did her a F***in FAVOUR.. (pardon me french !!)

MEN.. please get the idea OUT OF YOUR HEAD.. that some woman is DESPERATE to marry you.. There are parents in the world still desperate... but most women out there have a LOT of choice whenever they're ready (what with the female infant mortality rates climbing up.. that choice has only increased with time !!)..
They don't need a loser who disrespects women.. to spend the rest of their life with..

And you know what's funny.. a lot of these men.. they DON'T dis-respect women.. they actually WORSHIP their wives in the confines of their home.. its only outside when they're with other "homies"... they wrinkle their nose everytime their wife calls them... even if she's ACTUALLY jus returning their 30 missed calls !!

Most of these losers would've never been with a women if their mommies hadn't found one for them !!

I think its time they acknowledged this fact !!

I.. on my part.. will stop reacting to their immature pretend reactions.. before I get kicked out of work for using foul language in the cafeteria.. :(

I'll change...

2006-06-17T11:48:00.000+05:30

... what needs to be changed...

.. myself... maybe.. or at the very least.. my reactions !

.. I'll do what needs to be done !!

Life does its own thing....

2006-06-16T11:08:00.000+05:30

... and I do my own...

And that's jus how its supposed to be !!

Today was about... (in no particular order..)

2006-06-15T23:35:00.000+05:30

...cracked windscreens...

...overturned games...

...good intentions.. bad timing...

...a call from the lawyers..

...mild discomfort

...well cooked alu gobhi...

...twitching eyes...

...a lot of thunder 'n a lil bit of rain...

...a lot of dancing...

...being unreasonable...

...hurt male egoes...

...too much sugar...

...lower back pain...

...a pictorial representation of my day... would be a graph like this...

/----\_____/-----

I close my eyes...

2006-06-11T16:06:00.000+05:30

... and I feel my head is spinning...
spinning wildly...

No I'm not drunk... (I tried... but my taste-buds kicked in..and spoiled all the fun.... in any case..that was yesterday..)

I'm confused...

Sharing is something.. I've avoided for so long..
And even now.. when I do share... the reactions are NEVER what I expect...

Facing the unexpected unnerves me...

I like to weigh all the possibilities.. be conscious of what all "can" go wrong..and their respective probabilities..

But when I share... its always like going against my "normal natural self"... I still do it.. often.. and it always has the same effect on me..

Maybe I'm a masochist..

It can't be... that is one category of people I despise.. also people who wallow in self-pity..

Do I loathe myself ??!!

No.. that can't be... just this morning.. I had myself CONVINCED that I'm spectacular...

Am I spectacular ??!!

I need a hug... or maybe.. just a tight slap across my face... by someone who loves me..
Doesn't matter which of the two.... coz they'll both be meant to have the same effect on me..

I need to relax...

29 .. going on 14...

2006-06-06T23:44:00.000+05:30

.. yup.. that's me !!

And that's only "part" of the problem...

I HATE Caroline in the city...

2006-06-06T22:50:00.000+05:30

... I used to like it... I mean... its no Seinfeld.. but it was okay..and now ..the two of them are FINALLY together..
... and.. all the fun is gone !

Now about Seinfeld... I think they're showing the first season... these are the really old ones.. and they're not... well.. they're not "Seinfeldy" enuff..

I dunno...

it sux....actually.. it isn't even about seinfeld...

whatever..

f*** everything !

ok.. Im scared as well ..coz this dude I had a big fight with ..at the photocopy place.. has my address.. my phone number... every f**** personal number .. my permanent address..and god knows what else..

It wasn't enuff.. that I wake up to weird noises every other nite... now THIS !!

aaa.. fgt it !

f*** everyone !

I wonder what's worse...

2006-06-06T01:03:00.000+05:30

... filling in forms after forms after forms.. with the same bloody information...
... having to go to Kmangla for every photocopy I need.. coz my certificate is too big..
... my test bench crashing even though I made no changes to my code...
... my back ache.. and the early(?) morning cold I get up with daily...
... just the state of mind I've been in.. the last couple of days...

I dunno.. I dunno... I simply dunno...

Is that you... looking at me.. looking at me lookin at you.. thru the starkness of your eyes..
Would it be okay... if I stayed away... so far away.. that you couldn't reach me if you tried...

Things change...

2006-06-05T00:44:00.000+05:30

... very abruptly for me...

relationships change... quickly....

I don prefer that... especially with friends... I am not comfortable with sudden changes...
I don like to get too close too suddenly.. or snap-off ties... jus like that...

But things happen.. that force you down certain paths... Realizations that dawn in an instant..

No no.. its not something like .. " I NEVER knew this about myself.. or about him.."
No.. its always things you knew... but then you jus pushed it a lil too far this time... or its some button they pushed... one too many times...

And if you think you know what Im talking about... don KID yerself...

adios...

Livin on my own...

2006-06-05T00:25:00.000+05:30

.... I'm going to be "livin on my own"... only for a couple more months now...

I've been thinking about it... and here are some of good 'n the bad:-

the good...
- YOU are the first one to read the paper..
- You can even read it while eating and get grease all over it..
- You don have to look at any other sullen face (but yer own..)
- THERE ARE NO RULES..
- You watch what you want on tv
- No interference
- You dont have to pretend to be interested in what happened to someone else's boss's relative's friend's dog !!

the bad...
- You make tea only fer yerself..and have it only by yerself..
- You have to remember to pay the rent/the cable wala.. the electricity bill..blah bla blah...
- Sometimes.. when yer happy.. its nice to have someone around to share it with...

Ok.. the above is a good summary I guess...
So yea... I don really like to have people around when I'm in a bad mood... that's something I deal with best when I'm alone..
I miss having people around.. only when something really good has happened...

But... having spent this much time on my own.. and LIKING it... I'm curious about whether I've gotten too used to it..and will have trouble adjusting in a not-so-on-my-own situation...

Dunno... only time will tell..and probably this blog...

Long goodbyes.. are weird.. they're not sad...
I've had some sudden goodbyes in my life.. on multiple occasions... they make you overreact.. and leave you emotionally drained.. you say and do stupid things sometimes...

Long ones are good... you have a lot more time to adjust.. and it doesn't really even seem like a goodbye...

What am I TALKING about...

Its gotta be the Bacardi-breezer+chocolate+mango combo !! That was some WICKED stuff man !!

I get it..

2006-05-28T01:38:00.000+05:30

Its the need to discard everything and everyone familiar...

.. the need to get away.. stay away.. aloof... unreachable...

.. without making it too obvious... coz otherwise.. people tend to crowd you.. and reach out... which is precisely what yer trying to escape..

.. I get it... atleast I think I do..

Is that you... looking at me... looking at you.. thru the windows of your soul..

Approximately.....

2006-05-24T01:07:00.000+05:30

ap·prox·i·mate . ly
v. intr.

To come near or close, as in degree, nature, or quality. ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-prks-mt)

If I promise to stay... approximately the same...

Do you promise to stay .. approximately in touch.. and approximately my friend ?!...

Its sickening...

2006-05-22T00:01:00.000+05:30

... 50 % reservation

... female infanticide...

... corruption...

... population explosion...

... communalism...

... dowry deaths...

... its just sickening...

But what do I do... stop watching the news... walk away from the problems... leave the country ?

Most people I talk to.. say that anything I will try to do.. will be futile... the problem is either.. too big... or too complicated.. or too out of hand...

... but isn't that the whole problem... that people "assume" there is nothing they can do about it ?!

... And please please PLEASE don't tell me I sound like someone from Rang De Basanti... this ISN'T an after-effect of the movie...

... Its an after-effect of switching between news channels for over an hour....

My Blog-"seduce" Personality....

2006-05-11T20:20:00.000+05:30

.... but then again.. it could just be wishful thinking... ;)

...nevertheless...

Your Seduction Style: The Charismatic

You're beyond seductive, you're downright magnetic!

You life live and approach seduction on a grand scale.

You have an inner self confidence and energy that most people lack

It's these talents that make you seem extraordinary - and you truly are!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

A Bar Of Soap....

2006-05-01T17:58:00.000+05:30

... I'm not sure if this is the title.. a short story by 'Saki'.. was in my C.B.S.E Read for Pleasure English text book...
I can't seem to remember the entire story...

If someone does... could you post the transcript in brief ?!
I'm going OUT OF MY MIND trying to remember it... googled fer it.. but with no luck.. I think I have the title wrong...

Any help would be much appreciated....

....

2006-04-08T15:45:00.000+05:30

Sometimes your kiss .. your caress.. doesn't make it through..
I try and reach out for you.. but I can't touch you..

.... and it kills me... everytime...

Its funny...

2006-04-06T00:46:00.000+05:30

how nice it feels..when someone tells you they'll remember you forever...

maybe its coz you imagine you are hardly worth remembering...

Aah..the foot has fallen asleep..but the brain refuses to rest..
The brain prefers OFFICE HOURS to take its siesta..

Ciao now..

Disclaimer

2006-04-02T14:04:00.000+05:30

The short story below is a work of fiction (if it were any GOOD, I would've liked to call it a work of ART !!). Any resemblence to any characters "alive" is purely intentional and mostly due to my complete lack of imagination. The author believes in borowing from her own life..

---

Also, there is no twist in the end.. coz that would make me a good writer... which I'm not. And the only inspiration I had was the dead of the night (or the calm of the morning.. ) and a hundred rupee book of short stories by O'Henry.. most of which by the way.. don't have any twists in the end either.....

“Good Morning..”

2006-04-02T05:36:00.000+05:30

... He wrote and then pressed “Send”. He didn’t need to write much else. There wasn’t any “need” to write this either actually... just a bad habit he had gotten into.. He lived alone and she was alone too for the time being.. and she was a known sms-freak Prasad thought to himself.. Sometimes her replies came before his sms even left his cell.. He surfed channels and smoked another cigarette as he waited for her response…

Akash was surfing too… wondering if he should go to office and do some work.. but he was still recovering from his illness and wondered if he’d REALLY be able to accomplish anything even if he did go.. He came across Notting Hill on Star Movies.. sent an sms to her.. saying it was on. He didn’t think he needed to actually.. she was probably watching the same thing.. He settled back in his bed.. and looked around to see if his cigarettes were within reach…

Sarita walked up the stairs to the apartment and rang the bell as she wiped off sweat from her brow. It was hot today and this was her THIRD trip to the apartment. She had gotten quite accustomed to not having “madam” open the door the first couple of times Saturday mornings. But it didn’t bother her much, her quarters were just downstairs.. and “madam” overpaid her . There was hardly anything to do at her place since the other “madam” had left… She left thinking she’ll try one last time before quitting for the day. She knew “madam” hadn’t gone out.. else Kamal at the gate would have told her so…

Prasad had already sent her a couple more sms-es. It was pretty hot and he didn’t have anything to do. Thought he would go and catch a cup of tea with her. Yesterday he had decided he wouldn’t go again for a couple of days.. they seemed to have arguments more often now.. over really insignificant things. She was getting to be quite a bitch actually,. But… some company is better than no company.. and she had her moments..
It was weird that she hadn’t responded yet.. could she still be sleeping ?

Putting down his cigarette Akash picked up his cell phone again.. checked the last message he got from her. He had fallen asleep last nite, but as usual she had continued to send him sms-es. “Wannabe-philosopher” is what he called her.. The last one he had received from her was pretty late. Maybe she’s still asleep, that’s why she hasn’t responded. Or she could just as easily be out of money. Doesn’t matter. He had decided to get dressed and head out after all…

Sarita was making her last trip to the apartment. She had double-checked with Kamal this time, and thought it was very weird that madam wasn’t opening the door. She rang the bell.. thrice and knocked harder this time. She was sure madam would ATLEAST want her to do the dishes..

Prasad was just burning out his cigarette butt and paying for a piece of mint. She hated cigarette breath. Not that she had any business telling him that, or what to do, but he had gotten into the habit of popping in a mint before he went up to meet her. He was quite sure she had finished all the money on her cell.. sending out late nite sms-es. But doesn’t she have a landline too.. he tried to remember..

Sarita was just explaining everything to kamal when she saw this guy coming towards the complex. Kamal seemed to recognize him..

As he reached close to the elevator Prasad saw Kamal there without his usual smile… instead he had a worried look on his face.. he was standing with another woman.. As he started up towards her apartment, they called out to him and explained to him in their broken hindi that Madam wasn’t opening the door. Prasad told them it was probably nothing, but felt his pulse race. He knew she sometimes just didn’t want to be disturbed. But today she hadn’t even pulled in the paper…

Akash realized he wasn’t going to get any work done after all. After checking out some movie schedules and downloading some songs, he decided to head home. He was angry with himself for having left his cell phone at home. All his friends numbers were on there.. he was quite helpless without it. He slowly walked down towards his car in the parking lot… he didn’t want to hurry, he still felt quite weak.…

“Oye, where are you ?” he sent another sms. A couple of people had collected outside the house and Prasad was started to get really worried. He had banged the door and tried to call her up. They all thought they could hear her mobile ringing inside, and that worried him more. He wished she would just pick up the cell and say “Hello”..she could be so stubborn sometimes..

Akash stopped off for a coffee before going home. He had gotten into this habit after his trip to the “coffee-land”.. the U S of A. Before that he was “strictly” a tea drinker…

Prasad had finally decided that something was really wrong, he had contacted the landlord and informed him that he was going to pry open the door. It’s a good thing she had introduced him to the landlord once. Better still, that the landlord was able to place him by name… He was about 200 kms away from Bangalore today and not planning to come back until the day after. After speaking with Prasad ofcourse, he had asked to speak with Kamal, probably instructing him on what to do in case of various eventualities. Anyway, no time to think of that.

Akash finally got home and opened the door and let himself in. It was bitter-sweet living on his own. He told everyone it was great, and that wasn’t altogether a lie..but he did miss the buffoonery of his ex-roommates !!

The door wasn’t that difficult to open. She was always saying.. that if someone wanted, they could just walk into her apartment anytime..
Prasad pushed open the door..and rushed towards her room but as he looked inside..... he stood rooted to the spot..

Sarita rushed back to her children and sister-in-law. They are going to talk about this for months she thought.. She had asked madam to pay her two months salary together so that she could hide it from her drunk husband.. Madam always paid her on the fifth.…
She would have to find new work fast…

Akash found his cell phone lying on top of the tv. “1 New Message” it said. Probably from her he thought… the “Casual Intellectual” she liked to call herself... hah...

They handed over the cell phone to Prasad.. and asked him to call the “concerned parties”… his hand shook as he held her cell phone… “13 Missed calls” it said.. “ and 9 New Messages…”

---

Akash was surprised to see that the message was from Prasad. It had been a while since he had heard from him.. wonder what’s up…

Stuff that I l learnt... this week...

2006-04-01T03:26:00.000+05:30

1. Its OKAY to be depressed... Even superman is depressed.. almost always..and COME ON... he's SUPERMAN... I DO understand if spiderman or batman were a little glum sometime.. but SUPERMAN ??!! I guess its quite alright if I'm not too crazy about the way things are going sometimes..

2. I read this.. during TADPOLE today.. it says... "Cherish truth, Pardon Error".. Easier said than done I know.. but something to think about

3. Everybody hurts.... sometime..

Another spell... :(

2006-03-27T23:16:00.000+05:30

Of a different kind this time...

I got up with an unbearable stomach ache.. probably GAS from the can of Diet coke I had just before bed..

Just as I came back from the restroom.. the pain got worse.. my hands got cold..and I .. hmm.. .maybe "collapsed" is an extreme word.. but kinda "dropped" onto the floor on my hands and knees... And I couldn't get get back to bed..
The doorbell rang .. it was the maid.. but here I was lying on the floor.. helpless.. sweating profusely... wondering which one of my friends would have to take me to the hospital if this were serious.. also if it might be appendicitis or a Kidney stone..

Well after what seemed like an eternity.. I finally got the energy to get back into bed and I was out for atleast an hour or two...
I got up..and I was FINE.. like nothing happened..

WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME MAN !!
X(

A bit on "Maturity" or the lack thereof...

2006-03-26T23:41:00.000+05:30

I was discussing this with a couple of friends...

Some of them thought it was utter nonsense.. others thought it made a bit of sense..
So here goes..

I think the biggest distinguishing factor between a mature society (or person even) and an immature one.. lies in whether it cleans up its own shit.. or whether it "ends up" cleaning other people's shit...
I mean the above statement.. literally.. as well as figuratively...
Now if yer confused.. that's totally understandable.. I'm gonna try and explain it a li'l bit..

A mature society is one that REALIZES that SHIT will eventually need to be cleaned up.... and hence.. it simply plays its part by "cleaning up" after itself...
An immature society consists of people who.. during the initial stages.. refuse to clean up after themselves... and then EVENTUALLY... when the entire place is all shitty and stuff.. end up cleaning up "before themselves" rather than afterwards...

Now this applies to a LOT of things in society.. not just the restrooms at the FORUM... it applies to government offices... projects at work.. building societies.. people etc etc...

well that's about it.. I think I should try and get some sleep now..

I haven't been out of the blog scene.. jus busy blog-reading rather than writing..
Also figured out my bloginality... check out the link in the side bar --------->
Not that it has any relevance. There were a bunch of questions with two sets of answers in two different columns.. I just alternated one from each column.. I guess that's what an Type-ESTP does !!!

I don like romantic movies...

2006-03-19T12:53:00.000+05:30

.. in which the guy or the girl leaves the "in"significant other standing at the ALTAR... while they pursue their "REAL LOVE" !!

No matter how romantic the couple-in-question is.. or how extenuating the circumstances or the series-of-events that utimately lead to this kinda situation.. . and I DO know these are jus movies.. but STILL.. I just cannot HELP feeling sick to the stomach for the poor dude/dudette left in abandon at the ALTAR nonetheless !!

I think its just HEARTLESS the way the "THE END" of the movie.. actually is just "THE BEGINNING" of a loooong period of recovery and rebound for the Altar-person...

2006-03-18T02:50:00.000+05:30

Strange kind of discomfort...

Heaviness in the chest... burning in the eyes.. restless of the mind...

What's the point.. I wonder.. maybe none...
but then... why wonder.. if there's no point ?!

The damp earth after the rain.. it smells like stagnated seepage in the walls now..

The comfort of my independence... seems like a burden of existence..

How ironic.. Time Machine on HBO...

I remember.. from "The Interpreter" they kept a list of favorite words..
Cashew nuts used to be one of my favorites....
Idyllic was my friends's... that's how he described his time spent with me.. twas a long long LONG time ago...

I think watching Time Machine for the 11th time will put me to sleep..

I've figured out some things...

2006-03-14T00:05:00.000+05:30

... I've figured out where the line-of-the-ants on the fridge in the kitchen starts from. It starts from a tiny lil opening close to my bathroom window.. So I covered that up with black insulation tape and confused the shit out of the ants..

.. I figured out a way to not have mosquitoes flood my apt when I come back home in the evenings. I first stick the key in the keyhole and then switch off the lights in the hallway before I quickly open the door.. the damn things dunno which way to head !!

... I've also figured out what dynamic_cast is all about in VC++. Its about some kinda run-time check that checks if yer upcasting/downcasting all in the same hierarchy..

..I've figured out I should have a cup of milk every morning to avoid getting osteoporosis when I'm forty !

..I've figured out that's there's no point pretending to like something/someone you don't.. and there's no point announcing it either...

... I've figured out a lot..and I know that I still gotta figure out a lot more...

I admit it... its hard..

2006-03-05T22:52:00.000+05:30

Its hard not to...
Even though.. I've 'been there' before...

This is the first time that it seemed harder for me..than for him...

I tried hard.. not to show it.. but I don think he bought it..

Wish I were stronger...

Survival kit...

2006-01-25T16:06:00.000+05:30

Last night's survival kit consisted of the following:
- My laptop
- My Simon and Garfunkel collection
- Some old photos
- My cell phone
- Some saved sms-es
- A Novel on Einstein's Entanglement theory...

It took a combination of a heavy dose of the above to get me to relax and then eventually fall asleep...

Maybe I should keep a bottle of wine in the cellar instead...

I'm not 'deep'...

2006-01-25T00:34:00.000+05:30

... I'm really not..

I can fool people sometimes.. maybe.. into thinking that I'm 'deep'

At best I make some observations about humankind...

I have a tendency to exaggerate whenever I'm in a bad mood...

I make it sound like its the end of my life...

I bounce back .. usually within 24 hours...

Or it takes me a good movie.. or an episode of Seinfeld...

But I think 'deep' people are more romantic.. I'm jealous of them..

Things happen to them.. or they've had.... difficult childhoods.. or overbearing parents.. or close ones who've died of cancer.. or lovers who have cheated on them..
But they've come out of it... still strong..

It makes you 'feel' for them.. you feel sorry for them... you weep at their vulnerability.. you feel proud for when they re-emerge taking stock of their lives again...

Nothing like that happens to me... I grew up fine.. my parents were pretty much in the middle of the normality-spectrum... No one I really love has died of any horrible disease or in an accident.. No one I loved has ever cheated on me...

I have my bouts of mild depression... They are generally triggered by something quite insignificant... I'd never get any sympathy if I told someone about it..

I'm like... Regular Coke... life is very run-of-the-mill for me..

So please don feel sorry for me... even if I crave for your attention sometimes..

She's perfect...

2006-01-25T00:02:00.000+05:30

... you think...
Beautiful dark brown eyes... complexion looks flawless...
Maybe she's wearing make-up.. but it looks so natural.. you can't tell...

Her brown locks fall perfectly on her shoulders... her eyelashes are thick as she bats them at just the right moment...

Her teeth aren't all straight.. some of them are crooked and they overlap.. but that just adds more charm to her smile...

She's dressed perfectly.. white satin top.. with a dark blue skirt... How can she walk so gracely in those high heels...

She's perfect you think... yer in love with her...

-

She's just getting out of bed to get some water.. her throat hurts like hell... she hasn't been out of her room the whole weekend... She limps a little as she drags her blanket with her to the kitchen...

She's wearing unironed white shorts that are three sizes too big for her.. She was to get her legs waxed this weekend.. but she's out sick.. so there's this unseemly stubble on her exposed legs.. She's wearing an oversized shirt with white and orange checks all buttoned up till the top...

Eyebrows are unmade... she always gets this pimple on the left side of her forehead "that time of the month"...
Her curly hair always gets unbearably difficult to handle if she doesn't wash it every second day..

If you still think she's perfect... then maybe you are...

Confession...

2006-01-24T20:18:00.000+05:30

I read your diary once..

Well.. it wasn't really a diary.. more like a notepad ...
You weren't trying to hide it from me.. but it wasn't meant for me either...

I know I wasn't supposed to.. But I knew you'd never find out if I didn't tell you...

So one day.. when I walked past it.. not once .. not twice.. but three times...
And I saw it lying there..
I had seen you scribbling in it before..
I picked it up.. and flipped through it..
I found a part of you...

You'd shared a bit of it once with me.. but then..
I remember.. I couldn't express what I felt.. and so you didn't think I deserve to share any more..
But I've had a glimpse at a part of you.. through it..
Not just then.. but afterwards too.. not in the same diary.. at other places..
Where sometimes I feel I'm not meant to be..

So this is a confession...

No.. I don't feel sorry..
but I hate keeping secrets.. from you...

Jus one of dem days....

2006-01-11T14:54:00.000+05:30

:(

When my plans again seem to have car-crashed...

Its not easy being an adult incharge of making/ruining your own life and lives of people you love...

Its a huge responsibility...and it SUCKS when you are clueless....

If I weren't an atheist.. I'd say God will show me the way...

But... I know I have to figure this one out on my own...

:(

Gotta stay strong...

-me

********

Just figured that.. thinking about Hardware Accelerators..or DMAs doesn't really take yer mind off the real problems in yer life...
:-/

ps: Ok.. I guess I'm exaggerating.. no one died.. I don have cancer.. and I din lose my job..

Back on the topic of tombstones...

2006-01-10T12:59:00.000+05:30

.. I remembered my previous post on tombstones (http://thecasualintellectual.blogspot.com/2005/11/my-tombstone.html) and I decided that this is what my "significant OTHER"'s tombstone is gonna read...

"I did what SHE wanted" !!

There's this dude who looks like a dude I know....

2006-01-09T00:57:00.000+05:30

... and the reason I'm blogging about it "today" is coz I saw him outside of my work place for the first time today !! At a place where half-of-this-city shows up every weekend...

But anyway.. getting back to this dude-who-looks-like-this-dude-I-know...

I noticed this guy pretty soon after I joined work... He stands out... I think he's like 6'5"or so.. has long hair.. big chin+jaw... so.. whatever.. he stands out !!
But the reason I noticed him... is coz he looks like-this-dude-I-know..
Now I'm a friendly person... I smile a lot at people... its jus something I do...
but this guy isn't that type..and that's ok.. coz a lot of people are like that !!
So this is what happens.. everytime I pass him in the hall... or in the cafeteria.. I just have this urge to peer at his face and think to myself... "DAMN..he looks-like-this-dude-I-know" !! Now no one ELSE at my workplace .. knows this-dude-I-know.. so I can't really discuss this eerie fact with anyone else..
Maybe its all the keeping-to-myself bit that has got me trapped... but I just can't help staring at him.. EVERY SINGLE TIME I pass him by.

So this guy (as I mentioned before) is MUCH taller than the average male software engineer.. and I'm barely average height.. With the result that... whenever I cock my head to catch a glimpse of him... he cleanly notices it !! Now I'd smile if he would... but he doesn't.. so...
And since I've done the peering-bit on more than one occasion.. I think he has gotten some vewy vewy wwong ideas about my noble intentions... He thinx I have a wittle cwush on him...
I can tell by the way he smoothly looks away everytime our gaze meets...

Now I COULD solve this little issue by "pretending" to not notice the 6 foot 5 inch frame of this dude-who-looks-like-this-dude-I-know...
but I couldn't care less about what he thinks.. and I enjoy acknowledging the uncanny resemblance way too much to stop it...
:)

So its a fun activity every day at lunch... I look around.. till I catch sight of this dude.. and eventually he looks in my direction... catches me looking at him... and quickly turns his head away..

So a couple of weeks ago... for the first time since I've noticed this guy.. I caught this guy staring at me... (maybe i was looking REALLY hot that day or something .. :P) and I totally got the feeling that if I smile and stop today.. I could get to know this dude-who-looks-like-this-dude-I-know.. coz he totally seemed to want to stop and talk (I gather facts like these from the time-duration of eye contact they make with me..and other things that I'll mention in some other blog some day).. I knew I could stop today.. and talk to him... maybe even hTELL him..that he looks like this-dude-I-know... Hence putting an end to the everyday-awkwardness etc...
But here's the irony.. I was TOTALLY in a rush that day..
I was off to meet this-dude-I-know .. yup..and this is actually the DUDE.. who the dude-who-looks-like-this-dude-I-know ACTUALLY looks like !!...
And I was bloody late.. So NATURALLY I had no interest in stopping and talking... and I didn't...

After that day... we're back to the same awkward glance-and-stare situation that we were at before..

g'nite,
me

Sometimes I have "Transparent Dreams"...

2006-01-05T20:22:00.000+05:30

... I can't think of any other way to describe them...

They are dreams.. but I see through them... they're transparent...

I lie on my bed.. and I close my eyes.. it doesn't seem like I am asleep.. I keep getting up.. but not with a start..

I get up sometimes because of a noise that distracts me.. also at other times..when I have reached a logical conclusion of one of my transparent dreams...

Then I close my eyes again..and they start..again....

They are more logical and REAL than regular dreams..coz you see.. I'm basically awake.. I KNOW I'm.. dreaming (well..kind of !!)

But they aren't really dreams..they are actually THOUGHTS... rushing through my head... at an ENORMOUS speed....
And not abstract thoughts.. they are well formed thoughts.. verbal... so everytime I close my eyes I can "hear" these thoughts about various things going on in my life... gushing out of my brain at the speed-of-lite !!

And one would think I'd be tired after a nite like that.. but hey.. its 8:15.. and I just finished work...

So...

What song/movie is this from....

2006-01-05T00:01:00.000+05:30

"... I'm not trying to seduce you... Would you like me to seduce you ?"

It sounds familiar..but not quite !

I made some resolutions a couple of days ago... now I barely remember them...

- Have to start going to the gym
- Have to learn one new thing
- Have to get better at one thing I already know

And other non-ambitious stuff like that :P

I live for... (in no particular order)

- Food
- My friends
- Seinfeld
- Boyz
- Good music
- Good movies
- Bad movies
- Dancing
- Food
- My family
- x boyfriends
- Memories
- Money
- Food
- Good night's sleep
- Some good luvin
- Seinfeld

So stuff kept me occupied last week...

2006-01-04T17:39:00.000+05:30

... I did some stuff I haven't done in a while...

- Got Mehendi on both my hands..and kept it till the next day
- Also got some done over my burnt hand.. so it'd hide the marks.. :-/
- Wore a saree..and (ahem...) didn't look too bad in it ;)
- Did my make-up all by MYSELF !!
- Got mistaken for the bride's sister at my friend's wedding... by several people
Now I thought this was coz I was looking so hot... but then I realized it was coz the bride's neice was hanging from me like a lil Monkey almost the entire time at the wedding (siggggh !!) So junta probably mistook me for the Monkey's mom !
- Didn't really flirt with anyone
- Didn't overeat
- Witnessed a "kabool hai kabool hai kabool hai" Nikah for the first time.. it was interesting...
- And other stuff.. that suddenly sounds too boring for me to mention...

I'm beginning to believe...

2005-12-29T11:54:00.000+05:30

... that too much alcohol DOES kill graycells...

Coz..
1. GOD knows I had too much on Tues nite
2. I must've banged my head/food/hand a thousand times Wednesday morning
3. I invited people over for dinner when I was in NO shape to cook
4. I thought I switched off the gas and sat down to do something else
5. After realizing that I had completely burnt the masala I was making... I STILL decided to add it to the chole (actually that wasnt really dumb.. I was in no haalat to make the damn thing again..)
6. I tried opening the cooker when the pressure still wasn't down... that also with one hand... ended up spilling a good amount of the steaming contents on meself and burnt my hand pretty bad.
7. Instead of putting my hand under Cold water immediately... I jus sat down and stared at it for FIVE minutes...

Well... you get the picture right ?

Actually... I did a couple of other stupider-things that I REALLY can't mention in blogworld :-/